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Narcissists: A Beginner’s Guide

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 Narcissists: A Beginner’s Guide

I’m Fabulous! Don’t You Agree?

Simply put, it’s the tendency to think very highly of yourself and to have little or no regard for others. A narcissist is selfish, vain, and a glutton for attention. But there’s a range. Just because you have some of the traits doesn’t mean you’re mentally unhealthy. 


When Is Narcissism a Problem?

Experts might say it’s when those traits start to hurt your relationships and distort your sense of self. Extreme narcissism can cross over to a mental illness called narcissistic personality disorder. Your life revolves around your need for approval. You don’t understand or care about others’ feelings. You’re convinced you’re special, and you need others to acknowledge it.


Mirror, Mirror

The word narcissism comes from a mythical Greek youth who couldn’t pull himself away from his own reflection. Narcissus was beautiful. Narcissists, on the other hand, don’t have to be beautiful to believe they are. They’re convinced that they’re superior, even when it’s not the reality.


Endless Hunger

Praise. That’s what a narcissist wants from you. All the time. Their appetite for it is unlimited. And it goes in only one direction, so don’t expect any in return. And if that constant stream of flattery and admiration stops even for a second, they can turn hostile or aggressive very quickly.


They Don’t Care

Really, they don’t. Other people’s feelings aren’t on a narcissist’s radar. They usually never grow any empathy. They see you as a tool to get what they want, or an obstacle in their way. Sometimes, they don’t mean to be jerks. They’re simply blind to how they affect you.


They’re Bullies

A narcissist’s puffed-up self-image often masks a fear that they don’t measure up. When someone punctures their ego or insults them, narcissists can lash out. They demean, belittle, and intimidate. Many studies have linked narcissism with higher levels of aggression and violence.


Romance With a Narcissist

You might not see the red flags at first. Narcissists are often charming and popular. But over time, they may become cold, manipulative, and cruel. And they are often unfaithful, always on the lookout for a more impressive or better-looking partner.


Like Attracts Like?

You’d think narcissists would favor partners who feed their egos or who put up with their insensitivity. But that’s usually not the case. Narcissists hook up with all personality types. Still, they’re a bit more likely to end up in a relationship with another narcissist.


Narcissists as Co-Workers

They make good first impressions and excel in job interviews. But they can be lousy hires. Narcissists overestimate their own skills and put yours down. They’ll do whatever it takes to impress. They’ll barge into private conversations, give unwanted advice, and shamelessly steal ideas. They’re also rated worse by the employees they manage, except by those who are narcissists themselves.


It’s Not All Bad

A dose of narcissism can be a good thing. It can build your self-esteem and give you joy. You’re less likely to be depressed, lonely, or discouraged. ”Normal narcissists” often are excellent speakers and visionaries. That may be why they also tend to earn bigger salaries in the corporate world.


Think Someone’s a Narcissist?

Just ask them! They are surprisingly willing to tell you exactly who they are. Not that they think there’s anything wrong with them. They might even say you’re a sucker for not being a narcissist yourself. They for sure won’t apologize for their behavior or how they live their life.


If Your Partner Is a Narcissist

They may lull you with grand dreams when life is good. But when the fantasy pops, you may become the root of all their problems. Don’t buy into either distorted picture. It helps if you:

  • Don’t make excuses for them when they lie or hurt others.
  • Realize they will do the same to you.
  • Focus on your own dreams and goals.


How to Handle a Narcissist

Set boundaries. Decide where your limit is. Stick to it even as they try to punish, charm, or bully you.

Criticize gently. They may get angry if you threaten their self-image. Focus on how their behavior makes you feel rather than on their intentions.

Walk away if they become angry. Try again when they’re calm.

Don’t argue. They probably won’t hear you and may attack your motives.

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Sugary beverages increase your risk for metabolic syndrome (Dr. Oz article)

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Sugary beverages increase your risk for metabolic syndrome (Dr. Oz article)
According to Health and Human Services, 200 years ago, the average American ate 2 pounds of sugar a year. Today, it’s almost 152 pounds annually.

However, all sugar is not created equal. It’s important to know which type of sugar in what food is doing you serious harm (stoking inflammation, building belly fat and promoting obesity and fatty liver disease) and which kind you can — and even should — enjoy. A new review published in JAMA Open Network discovered that it’s added fructose, especially in beverages, that promotes development of metabolic syndrome, a group of conditions that includes high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar and low levels of good-for-you HDL. In fact, daily consumption of beverages containing a big hit of fructose (sodas, sports and energy drinks) increases your risk for metabolic syndrome by at least 14%.

However, other sources of fructose found in foods such as yogurt and fresh fruit are actually associated with a reduced risk of metabolic syndrome. That’s because the naturally present fructose is balanced by healthful nutrients and fiber, and those foods satisfy your hunger, while the calories in a beverage with added sugar don’t. So you don’t have to give up all sweets to stay healthy, just go for two to three servings of fruit, especially berries, daily with a dollop of lowfat yogurt.

——-

I am sorry, would you repeat that again Dr. Oz?

OK Dr. Lane, here it is:

Fructose found in foods such as yogurt and fresh fruit are actually associated with a reduced risk of metabolic syndrome The naturally present fructose is balanced by healthful nutrients and fiber, and those foods satisfy your hunger, while the calories in a beverage with added sugar don’t.

Fruit is your friend, sugar found in FRUIT is the best source of the boost sugar will give you. Fruit has it all: sugar, sweetness, fiber and it is available in the USA year-round!

And it tastes good!

My wife and I bonded when we were dating over fruit.  I am happiest when we have a table of fruits in our home.  

Even my dog eats fruit (only the ones that are ok by the vet, like a few cherries, a bit of watermelon, or a slice of apple).

Never give your dog grapes or raisins!  Bad for the liver.

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Twelve Risk Factors Linked to 40% of World’s Dementia Cases

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Twelve Risk Factors Linked to 40% of 
World’s Dementia Cases

Modifying 12 risk factors over the life course could delay or prevent 40% of dementia cases, a new report suggests.

The report is an update of the Lancet Commission on Dementia Prevention, Intervention, and Care.

The original report, published in 2017, identified nine modifiable risk factors that were estimated to be responsible for one third of dementia cases. The commission has now added three new modifiable risk factors to the list.

“We reconvened the 2017 Lancet Commission on Dementia Prevention, Intervention, and Care to identify the evidence for advances likely to have the greatest impact since our 2017 paper,” the authors write.

The 2020 report was presented at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference (AAIC) 2020, which was held online this year because of the COVID-19 pandemic. It was also published online July 30 in The Lancet.


For more information, go to this link
Table. Contribution of Individual Risk Factors to Total Dementia Burden
Risk factor Weighted PAF (%)
Less education 7.1
Hearing loss 8.2
Traumatic brain injury 3.4
Hypertension 1.9
Alcohol (>21 units/week) 0.8
Obesity (BMI>30) 0.7
Smoking 5.2
Depression 3.9
Social isolation 3.5
Physical inactivity 1.6
Diabetes 1.1
Air pollution 2.3

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Dr. Lane’s Thoughts XXIV

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Dr. Lane’s Thoughts XXIV
1)  So Trump is a business man or a “great businessman” or some such internal reference.  Is he really?  Are you speaking of his scripted TV show he was on (yeah, none of that was real or had any consequences. He was paid as an actor on a fake show and the ‘internships’ were paid by the studios which was a year-long position of doing nothing.  Trump has no offices for people to go to to do activities – he has a few people who answer the phones and arrange his appearances but he doesn’t build anything or sell anything or manage anything which needs a real staff of people with assigned tasks and he hasn’t had anything like this for 30 years.  He has failed at every venture he ever tried and his ’empire’ has long been taken away by others in bankruptcies, loss of market share, and settlements).  Or are you speaking of his failing construction ’empire’ which took the holding of his father and slowly shrunk them to satisfy Trump’s many debts?  Are you speaking of his myriad ventures in selling vodka, steaks, suits, and other cheaply-produced overseas garbage products?  Maybe you are speaking of his discredited Trump University (of real estate) which neither was a ‘university’ nor did it even include Trump.  His buildings which have long since stopped being owned or even controlled by him and only have his name (a compromise he traded for in his negotiations as he lost every bit of a role in the ownership – many of these buildings have slowly removed his name) or his golf and country clubs which pay him to use his name but long ago were taken over by more competent management companies.  His name is a cheap advertising gimmick which appeals to the low-class people who see the Trump name like any other minor celebrity, their vain hope is that he panache will rub off on them for a moment like the thin layer of gold on plated jewelry.

Trump still receives some revenue from some of these places but the ‘millions’ that he and his family receive are nowhere near the many billions that these places earn.  It is nice to earn a passive income of millions but what once existed under Fred Trump would have been equivalent to perhaps a trillion dollars by 2020 dollars but the son lost it all in bankruptcies and lawsuits.  The only role Trump has is to drive or induce people to go to the places, much like the hostess at a restaurant or the greeter at Walmart.

The question really is, why do people who know Trump’s history still find him appealing?  I think that it is the very known criminal side of Trump that rather than repel people is what they find appealing!  You ever wonder why some people find reptiles personable or people on death row to be the object of their love?  Yes, it is the same group that like Trump.

Underneath it all, people want what Trump has and they want to do what Trump has done: people want to cheat the system and create the buzz about themselves that Trump has and would like nothing more than to cheat on their taxes (like Trump) and run scams (like Trump) and make the bits of money (like Trump) so that they can also get “something for nothing” and keep the money (like Trump).

If you ask most people if they want to be considered a criminal they would say ‘no’ – it is part of our moral fabric for the people who live within the community to deny a desire to steal or cheat the other people in the community.  It is not honorable to state that you have a desire to take money away from people less able than you.  Even among criminals preying on weaker people is pretty much a death sentence.  Stealing from people (moreso if they are considered ‘innocent’).  It is more ‘honorable to go after people that you do not know or from people who are your criminal equals – that is, basically, OK.

But, the clean-hands shyster image that Trump has – the 6’4″ physique, blonde hair and rakish charm that he has cultivated with the added background of being a groping sexual predator is appealing to many people, both men and women.

So, in a word, PEOPLE WANT TO BE LIKE TRUMP!  They do not like anything about him or his politics but many people want to be him!  His demand for loyalty (that he readily receives) from everyone he meets [which includes his family] (or he will cast you away), his complicated illegible taxes which is known to hide years of business failures, greed, and ‘creative’ accounting approaches to deny paying any taxes to any government entity, his demand that people use his named facilities to curry favor for his minimal skill sets – this is every person’s dream!  To demand control and have others create a path for you so that life will be easier; life will make less demands, that life will be more smooth only for you.

Who wants to look like Jeff Bezos – small, bald, and the 100% creator of Amazon and a trillionaire who earned every cent he has and not like Trump who looks like what every person in a foreign country envisions as “American” and has never done a decent, normal, honest thing in his whole life?  If Trump has ever done anything close to legal or legitimate it was an accident but is quickly trumpeted by his sycophants as what makes him a “regular guy” (soon to be overshadowed by his next act of public rudeness or show of uneducated tweeting at 3 AM).

It is every small person’s dream that they can be themselves with their families and friends but instead of receiving an abrupt and unwanted response they find that everyone wants to hear your words, ask your opinion, follow your suggestions, and fear the loss of your attention all while you are receiving unearned income, go to parties where you are expected and desired, and gain access to sexual partners in any way you want while they succumb to your brutish approaches and pursue additional liaisons with you.  You can be your own Caligula right down to a cheap gold-colored apartment (yes, this is really where Trump lives in Trump Tower in NYC) with your carefully contracted wife with the negotiated prenuptial agreement (what says love more than a contract with negotiated terms?).  Melania quickly renegotiated her pre-nup just after the election when she knew she was in a position, briefly, of power to get more for herself and her son (technically, Barron is also Trump’s son but you wouldn’t know it from how little that boy gets his ancient father’s attention.  Yes, the joy of being 14 and having a 73 year old father.  Melania is his only parent and her parents are his only real family).

When Trump makes it clear that he is the ‘everyman’ that is not a compliment – it is the bitter recognition that he stands for what many people feel daily: beat down by life and wishing that if they could go back to the beginning that they would demand that things would be done on their terms – their family, their spouse, their friends, and their employment: less work and more pleasure; less demands on them that they know anything (Trump doesn’t read by either design or lack of suitable skills) and more appeal for what they do offer (height? deep-pocket money? Greed?, an easy to pronounce name?  This part evades my sensibilities so I am open to suggestions).

Trump’s popularity is a bold statement that many people will not admit: they admire avarice and they desire a royalty that they can point to as their real or intended goal in life.  People want more and they do not want to have to earn it in any way; they want to be like Trump and get it by birth and a lack of morality and fair play.

One thing for certain, he will be remembered long after he leaves our consciousness and this earth in the same way as the Black Plague, The Great Depression, World War 2, COVID-19, and 9/11 – not for what they did but how we can look at each other as survivors.

That will be our statement: I Survived Trump.

2)

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Alzheimer’s Blood Test

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Alzheimer’s Blood Test

A breakthrough blood test for Alzheimer’s has been shown to accurately identify patients with the disease, researchers announced July 28. 2020. The experimental findings suggest a potential route to early diagnosis of the neurodegenerative condition as early as 20 years before symptoms appear. 

Despite afflicting nearly 10% of elderly Americans, the precise cause of Alzheimer’s is unclear. Scientists believe it is generally linked to tau proteins and beta-amyloid plaques—tangles of molecules that accumulate, interfering with neurological processes (video explainer)—but confirmation is typically made through brain cross sections after a patient dies. The test, which measures a certain type of tau protein in the bloodstream, distinguished cases of Alzheimer’s from healthy patients as well those with other types of dementia with accuracy between 89% and 98%. 

Researchers said the approach may be ready for clinical use in as little as three years (2023).

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Meat Causes Health Problems

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Meat Causes Health Problems

Let’s start by making it clear that I am not anti-meat nor am I advocating pure vegetarianism for everyone.  This article is purely about the impact of large amount of meat on your health

In 2018 Americans ate a record-breaking amount of red meat and poultry (much of it fried) — 222.2 pounds apiece. No wonder a new study published in the journal Hypertension has us once again singing the praises of omega-3-loaded fish, like salmon and sea trout, and advising you to eat lean, skinless poultry (not fried), and plant proteins found in foods like peas, quinoa, chia nuts and seeds.

The study looked at the presence of trimethylamine-n-oxide, or TMAO, a byproduct from digesting certain meat-based proteins, in the bodies of 100 adults and 22 young adults. Researchers analyzed how it affects the risk of chronic disease. They found that meat-eaters’ TMAO level rose significantly with age, as did signs of health-threatening tissue and blood vessel damage. This was independent of the damage excess saturated fat in meats can do to your health.

A previous study in the Journal of the American Heart Association found a more than 60% increased risk of major cardiovascular events in people with elevated TMAO.

The bottom line: To reduce TMAO levels, eliminate red and processed meats from your diet. Limit lean, skinless poultry to a 3- to 6-ounce serving. Eat fish such as salmon and sea trout that are loaded with heart-healthy omega-3 fats twice weekly, and learn how to cook well-seasoned plant proteins like peas and quinoa, so you love them — as they love your body back. In two weeks, you can lower your risk of heart and kidney disease, dementia and cancer.

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Your diet choices can help prevent Alzheimer’s (Dr. Oz Article)

Your diet choices can help prevent Alzheimer’s (Dr. Oz Article)


Leonardo da Vinci, Mohandas Gandhi, George Bernard Shaw and the Nobel Prize-winning mathematician Norbert Wiener all were vegetarians. Their genius was powered by plants! If you want to keep your brain sharp and avoid dementia, yours should be too. That’s the conclusion of researchers who studied the MIND — or Mediterranean-DASH Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay — diet.

The MIND diet calls for eating at least three servings of whole grains and at least one dark green leafy salad and one other vegetable daily, along with a glass of wine. Beans and legumes should be eaten at least every other day; poultry and berries, at least twice a week; fish once a week; and for snacks, go nuts (an ounce a day). The diet guidelines also say it’s equally important to avoid butter, cheese, fried or fast food, and red meat. The diet allows less than a serving a week for them. We say NONE.

The researchers tracked almost 1,000 people ages 58 to 98 for four and a half years. They found that reliably sticking to the MIND diet reduced participants’ risk of developing Alzheimer’s by 53%. It fell by 35% if they followed guidelines moderately well.

MIND reduces oxidative stress and inflammation, and the phytochemicals it contains may help prevent the buildup of beta-amyloid plaques, associated with Alzheimer’s. So if you mind developing dementia, adopt the MIND diet. For detailed info, check out “Dr. Oz Explains the MIND Diet” at doctoroz.com and follow the same basic advice in our book “YOU on a Diet.”

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Dr. Lane’s Thoughts XXIII

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1) Florida: 7-13-2020.   The largest single day increase in COVID-19 cases in the history of this pandemic.  People there are talking about the ‘lack of leadership” – calling out the state and federal governments.  You can’t complain of a ‘lack of leadership’ if you are the ones that put DeSantis and Trump into office.  Florida – the political has now become personal.

2)  The White House is trying to discredit Dr. Anthony Fauci, the head of the CDC.  This guy is a real leader and a smart scientist doctor.  He has more integrity and honesty in his little finger than the whole white house has in in all of their bodies combined.  Many deaths could have been avoided and illnesses prevented if his thoughts and ideas were followed more closely.

3) Trump and his dog Betsy DeVos (just kidding there Betsy, my dog is much smarter than you) want the schools to reopen stating “If they can reopen Walmart and Home Depot they can reopen the schools”.  

Wrong idea there.  At Walmart and Home Depot they can deny entry if you are not wearing a mask and they can make you leave if you do not wear a mask consistently while you are there.  No one goes to Home Depot and Walmart for 7 hours of sitting, standing and running around in gym class.  If you go to either of these stores you can’t cry if you forgot your mask and then the stores are required to supply you with a mask and if they do deny entry to the stores, that person’s parents will not tell the principal and school superintendent about the incident.

No, you idiots, reopening the schools is not the same as reopening Home Depot and Walmart.

4) If you are hearing about stores that are “mask optional” or just outright do not require you to wear a mask, you may believe that you are looking at a business but you are really looking at a rough mugger who will do anything to get your money, including kill you and your family!

Let’s think about that for a minute: someone knows you have a wallet on you and they are so desperate for your possessions and money that they will beat you and hurt you and fight your attempts to preserve your body just to get your money.

No mask means that you can get COVID-19 from another person there and possibly bring it home and infect your family.  A horrible slow death.

Just like a mugger.

All to get you to go there and spend your money.

Just like Trump who wants to defund testing for COVID-19 (“it makes us look weak”) and is sending our nation’s supply of ventilators to other countries in some willy-nilly pattern where countries with 19 cases (this is real; a place that has had only 19 cases) get 20 ventilators and countries with no people with the proper training on using ventilators are getting these expensive and highly technical machines for them to use without training.

The people most likely to trust Trump and not wear masks and go to stores with a no-mask policy are also the ones most likely to vote for him.  Kind of backward to kill off the people who will vote for you but that’s our Trump (I imagine that someday there will be a TV show with a fat balding bigot who is a cross between Archie Bunker and Simon Cowell and the catchphrase of the show will be “That’s Our Trump!”).

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CoQ10 + Vitamin D for Statin Pain!

CoQ10 for Statin Pain!

Like many people I take a statin drug for cholesterol control.

Like many people, I have had terrible pain in my legs and weakness when I walk too much or climb stairs.  My doctor has come up with solutions like changing my dosage from 20 mg to 10 mg and even going down to every other day instead of every day.

I found a book by Gabe Mirkin, MD “The Healthy Heart Miracle” and he suggested CoQ10 and Vitamin D – easily accessible supplements.

I took them along with my statin drug (I use Atorvastatin) and the pain disappeared!  You also must keep your levels of Vitamin D at a high level for other reasons so this is an easy rule to follow.

This is an experiment with no downside – try it and it can’t hurt you.  The CoQ10 is cheap to buy and has no side-effects.  Vitamin D is also very important for all your body functions.

If you are lucky (like me) you will eliminate your leg pain and help to keep your cholesterol down!

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Tomatos to Protect Your Man’s ‘Tomatos’

Tomatos to Protect Your Man’s ‘Tomatos’

New research confirms that eating cooked tomatoes may reduce the risk of prostate cancer. 

A study published in Cancer Causes & Control followed more than 27,000 men without cancer for almost eight years. 

The researchers found that men who consumed canned or cooked tomatoes four or more times a week had a lower risk for prostate cancer than those who never consumed tomatoes. The most dramatic benefits were seen in guys who consumed about a third of a cup daily, compared with no tomato intake.

Tomatoes contain high levels of a polyphenolic compound known as lycopene that’s made more bioavailable when heated. Other foods high in this nutrient include red bell peppers, watermelon, papaya and guava.

Lucky for you, tomato season is right around the corner. For fabulous recipes using cooked and canned tomatoes, preorder Dr. Mike Roizen‘s “What to Cook When Cookbook” — in August you can discover dishes such as Chunky Roasted Tomato Salsa, Eggplant Sliders El-Roma and Pasta with Harissa-Roasted Cherry Tomatoes and Spinach.

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