FAILURE – learn to embrace it

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FAILURE – learn to embrace it

Failure – learn to embrace it or ‘lean into it’ (or whatever words you need to read to not run away from the word).  Failure is, simply, not succeeding at something.  Maybe it is something outside your control (like the stock market or making a destination at a specific time due to unforeseen circumstances), or maybe it is a subject in school or a program that you wanted to learn or needed to learn.

It is the second one that I want to discuss.  I intend to keep identities secret in this essay so as not to divulge too much but still keep the topic relevant to the reader.  Except for one person – myself.  In my life, I have failed.  I have failed many times and I continue to fail and it is ok.

It is ok to fail.  It makes for better people.  A dentist who has worked on me told me that he failed the field that he specializes in today.  He failed the subject as did another guy in his class.  He was told to intensively study it over the summer between semesters with the other guy.  Now, this dentist specializes in that field and the other guy?  He is a professor in that same subject at Columbia School of Dentistry!

Failure makes you take a look at yourself and make the most important decision you need to make daily – give up or move on and succeed!  

The teacher who failed them in this subject has the responsibility to only pass the students who he assesses have mastered the topic and he had to fail them because they did not meet that criteria.  The professor did his job correctly.

Those two guys had to study more to meet that same criteria and both fell in love with the subject and are now better than their own classmates in the same subject that they had previously failed!

So where do I fit into this topic?  I failed at basic clinical sciences in chiropractic school.  Twice!  What I failed at is now what more than 90% of my day is spent doing!  My work as a certified medical examiner (CME) is 100% basic clinical sciences and I have been informed by the State of NJ that I do 50% of all the exams done on truckers in the state (I was called July 2020 from Trenton MVC and was informed during a brief conversation).

I have failed chemistry at Syracuse University (but came back to do the entire curriculum of chemistry in one year at Middlesex County College).  I failed that class in chiropractic college (already noted), I have failed at my first marriage (but am successfully married now), and so on.  

Failure is your chance to make a decision. Failure can be a stopping point or a place to reflect whether continuing on is worth the time and cost.  

You show me a successful person and with one question I will tell you whether I like them; I would ask them “have you ever failed and, if so, what did you do about it?”  Thomas Edison is famous for saying, “I have not failedI’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Edison was famous for never giving up in his search for the construction of the electric light bulb.

Use the Edison quote as a measure of why you can trust someone who has failed – they got those failures out of the way (“10,000 times”) so that they will not make that same mistake with you or, if they do, they know what do do to make it better.

Not talking about failure makes the subject taboo in the same way that for centuries the public did not talk about menstruation – as if not discussing a normal body function would make it invisible and invisibility was important.  Not talking about failure dos not mean that people will not fail it only means that people who fail at things will either feel a need to surrender (because failure means shame) or they will succeed because they know that for them to succeed they have to take a different road or a different approach.

Or run away like a little girl.  

HAH! “like a little girl?”  Who are you kidding? Even ‘little girls’ don’t run away from failure – at least my ‘little girls’ don’t run away from failures (if they remember the way my wife and I have taught them) – they charge ahead and learn and get retested and succeed! 

Failure to fail should be our mutual concern.  People who do not admit that they have failed or have not had their failure made public (as I did when I was not allowed to continue with my classmates in school or my dentist who had to spend the summer relearning the subject) makes them afraid to try new approaches or to do things differently and that makes them unable to admit that problems do occur that they cannot handle.

Speaking of medicine, anatomy makes everyone slightly different so the same approach in one mouth may not be possible in another mouth,  The person who has failed knows that they must try another way; the person who has not failed will blame the patient.  In my case I truly learned the many ways to measure blood pressure and that number can make or break an exam in my office – but why can a BP be high?  I know the answer but what about my classmates who did not have to be trained more than once in the subject of blood pressure reading – can we expect that they recall all the issues that I am familiar with?

Expertise is built on getting it wrong so that you can learn to do it right under all circumstances and, thereby, become an EXPERT.  Find any person considered an expert and ask them if they have ever made an error or had trouble grasping a concept in their field.  If they are being honest, they will own up to learning from their mistakes.

So, in closing, make all the mistakes you can and learn from them!



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