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Dr. Lane’s Thoughts LXVI
1) There is always that one unique outstanding moment when a person realizes that they are very satisfied with their situation in life, finally. I write “FINALLY” because this moment comes after many years of not having what they knew they needed to feel ‘complete’.
I can only imagine that this may come to a person who is transgender and they are finally in the clothing and body of the gender that feels ‘right’ – it wasn’t a quick process but when it is there, you finally feel ‘complete’.
In the same way that I knew that I was never in the right ‘body’ before I went to chiropractic college to become a ‘doctor’. I saw myself as a doctor with the constant thirst for knowledge about health, medicine, and the body, deep-reading about medical topics in science, biology, public health, and other disciplines. My favorite subjects to talk about were the ones that I needed to have ‘doctor’ in front of my name so that what I said was less ‘opinion’ and more ‘knowledge’ despite being the same information. I needed to be a doctor – it was that simple. Only a ‘doctor’ could knowledgeably talk about the subjects that I loved to talk about.
Like someone looking across a river that divides them from the land that they are in to the land that they feel is their real home or the place where they could realize their potential, I was on the side of education that celebrated study and not action when it came to health topics; politics rather than patient care. To get to that other side, I had to go to medical school.
This was a very large request to make on myself. I had not taken a science class in 10 years and there was also the matter of money; something I would need to live on until student loans would kick in and I could just live on that until I finished my degree, 4 years from then.
The part about school, life, my romance issues, my dying mother, and the four years before I graduated are just a longer story. Let’s just say that I went through a great deal to reach my goal of treating patients at the age of 45.
Now at almost 60 years old I think I have finally become who I was meant to be: Dr. Lane. I have an office and a staff, I have a enormous roster of patients, almost 100% CDL holders because my practice is centered around doing the medical exam for CDL holders.
This is me; this is who I am to my community: Dr. Gerald Lane, DC: The commercial driver examiner for the FMCSA in Newark for 2500 drivers every year. I have my expertise and my identity and it fits right for me.
It has been noted in other essays and previously read articles that to avoid an early death (or even just extend your years to the most that they can be) you need physical health (which comes from a LIFETIME of looking after all of your health concerns), you need mental health (that comes from working at your mental and emotional needs every day in which ever ways that you see fit: is it religion you need or is it a form of meditation, it is the sense of warmth that comes from strong friendships or family bonds – whatever it is that you consider necessary in your ‘happy location’ of inner peace), and you need PURPOSE.
You need a reason to get up in the morning and function. For some it may be having a role in raising their children or grandchildren, for others it may be in building or creating something, for others it may be exploring and seeing the wonders of the world, and for others it may be continuing to work at a profession that they love. Nothing comes close to fulfilling this for me more than medicine. The profession that I always wanted to be a part of seems to return to me the need for my presence.; the profession needs me as much as I need it. These truckers and bus drivers, and CDL holders need me to be their examiner as much as I need to be here to take care of them – giving the majority their 2-year cards and for others direction and advice about high blood pressure or diabetes or just getting glasses.
To many, these minor and mild directions I offer seem simple and childish compared to a medical doctor in the form of a surgeon or specialist but I can tell you differently. I am very close to the real patient here in my office: they are not going to disrobe or be tested intimately; I am just going to test the basic man (mostly I see men, there are some women who come here also) and his daily capabilities. I am not solely interested in their skin or their eyes or their mobility because I am testing all of their bodily capabilities. The only function I serve is to state that this individual made up of many functions can drive a specialized vehicle (Classes A, B, C and, now, D license that are involved in commercial enterprises) in a healthy form and in a way that will not endanger the public who also use our roadways.
It is almost comical how seriously I take my responsibilities. There are probably many commercial driver examiners who just take a half-ass approach to the many responsibilities that we have or just make it their duty to pass as many drivers as they can but not me. Every rule I have learned, every test I have learned that I need to apply is like a guide for me to do my job as best as possible because I enjoy following these rules so that I can make the best decision possible. I sometimes feel that I am like a “Barney Fife” or some other character who takes the uniform too seriously but those who know my office already know something about me: I don’t wear any uniform or even clothes that resemble a ‘doctor’s uniform’ .
I am not following the demands of my uniform; I am following the laws and rules of my profession.
Gone is the white lab coat or the ties or even the leather shoes. I just wear street clothes. I walked away from doctor clothes because it scared my more nervous patients and it may have caused what is called “white coat syndrome” which is most recognized for elevating blood pressure but I see as just a barrier to a patient showing me his best physical self; and I need to see the driver at 100% of how he is when he is going out to work. If altering my dress code helps me to reach that goal then I will do it [trust me, I have those doctor clothes and the expensive shirts, watches, and shoes. I just don’t find a need to wear them anymore].
So this Jewish boy from Buffalo, NY (raised kosher, no less) ended up in Newark, NJ tending to Black, White , Asian, immigrant or US-born men and women who tend to the arteries of our continuous obsession for goods and products – the American trucker. I wouldn’t want it any other way – this is where I belong.
2) I think that I have written about this before but this is my new thoughts on it:
I am sure that you are under the impression that your life would be so much easier if only you were…
What? Is it that you truly believe that if you were White, or Tall, or Shorter, more beautiful (or less beautiful because that brings its own issues), straight, or lived in another part of the country (or in another country) or went to college, or didn’t have student loan debt, or had a better body, or weighed less (I don’t have to try to guess your personal issue but I think it was probably one of the ones I noted) your life would be perfect?
Except for one thing. You still want to be YOU but with this one change.
But for one fact: you need to erase how you got to be YOU because the change you desire would have changed your reality of how you got to be where you are.
Everyone sees what they want and the people who have this quality that you desire also have their own problems that come with being that one quality you wish you had. Would you be willing to give up your wonderful family or your height or your beauty or whatever quality that you have that another person might desire to get the quality that you think would make your own life better?
Just think about that. You may be walking around with this unmet need/desire to be someone else or have some other nice extra in life while another person is looking at you and thinking the same thing about you.
3) Beautiful people do not just happen. The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. — Elizabeth Kubler Ross
4) So you have a strong claim against pharmaceutical companies because you found out that some pill you take costs only 31 cents to make but they sell it for $5 a pill – you consider that excessive. The house you love is $300K more than you think it should cost or that piece of clothing you like with a brand name on it costs three times what it cost to make, or … (should we go on?).
On the surface, you are right with your argument. You can mention the needs of people or the excessive homelessness, or hungry people – all of these are valid arguments for why thing should be cheaper. All valid and all wrong.
A product that is too expensive compared to its competitors goes bankrupt but there are other ways to make a product ‘worth the money’ that go beyond the product itself. If we are just talking about the pill or shirt, or shoes, or tires – most are pretty close to their competitors in terms of function.
Excessive profits are why you have neighbors with great incomes who don’t actually produce anything. They work in management or HR or the represent a company in some way like sale or marketing. Breaking even is in no one’s best interest – it diminishes incentive and company loyalty, as well as many other things.
People work for money and they work for the most money they can make until the workplace become unbearable in some way. For the most part, people have very little interest in who they work for or even the industry as long as their skills earn them enough to live the way they want to with the background that they have.
Those excess profits make it worth the time for a person to get paid back for their education, skills sets, or other intangible goods that they accumulated that make it worth the time of the employer to pay them a good or even great salary or hourly rate.
It would seem obvious to me that low-level employees want more than they deserve (but I do think that they deserve $25 an hour) but strongly feel that their managers and supervisors, not to mention the employers and owners make too much. I guess it all depends on which side of the payroll you are sitting on.
5) Taking into account what I wrote at #4, I want to carve out the semi-legal use of lies and scams that we all have to avoid every day. There is always someone out there that wants to separate you from your money for quasi-legitimate reasons.
Today (12/1/2022) I went to my Toyota dealership for what I thought was a scheduled oil change – I went there only because I have a year of free oil changes that came with the care.
It seems that there is only 1 oil change necessary because my car uses a synthetic that allows it to go 10,000 miles between changes.
I was told that today was to be a tire rotation. But (alas!) they can’t do the rotation because (horrors!) my back tires have only a 2 inches of depth while the front tires have 5 inches of depth (good!).
Of course, this is complete bullshit. The tires are all the same (visual inspection) + tires are good for 50,000 miles and the car only has around 17,000 miles on it.
They researched the tires and with installation it would cost $696 for those 2 tires.
Also, the air cabin filter was filthy (they showed it to me) and it was filthy.
Too bad that was not the filter in my car, which was replaced last week.
So, East Coast Toyota of 181Broad Street, Carlstadt, NJ was just trying to scam me!
They do not care that they were not successful. This guy in customer care, Frances, has another 25 people he will try this same kind of thing with today and he will succeed with a few of them. There is no crime if he doesn’t succeed because ATTEMPTED FRAUD is not a crime, only actual fraud is and nothing happened with me – no money was lost.
Frances does not see himself as a criminal. He is just an employee trying to make the maximum amount for his employer by lying and deceiving. He is doing what his employer wants him to do to bring in the most money possible from naive drivers of Toyotas. There is probably a bonus involved in there for him as well. Enough lies and bonuses and he can look forward to a promotion some day. He probably sees himself as a success because there is nothing wrong with replacing parts that are only 25% used. Besides it is ‘just a job” and is probably much better than other jobs he has had in the past and is less wearing on his body. Also, he considers the people he is lying to far beneath him as (not) human so lying and attempting fraud and is not likely to truly hurt the people he is attempting to victimize.
So, there is excessive profits and then there is attempted fraud. Both are victimless crimes except morally. The first is how we create successful people who are compensated for their training and skills (but mostly for their placement in the economic food chain) and the second, attempting fraud and outright lying, is just something that society be aware of and needs to avoid. It is “just a job” and deceit is what separates the honest (and poor) from the (rich) liars.
6) We need to discuss Japan. Not the nice modern country of today but the vile country it was before and during the Second World War. Their atrocities are the worse of the war, surpassing Germany in many ways. Link
Unlike Germany, which has held itself responsible for its role in killing many millions of people and considers 1939-1945 an anomaly in its history, Japan has admitted nothing. Read that again – they have admitted nothing of what they did.
The US and Europe are White and Japan is Asian and this has meant for so long that we care very little of what ‘those people’ do to other of ‘those people’ (meaning that it was in another part of the world involving people who not look like us; Asian against Asian).
Unlike Germany with its neighbors going to commit the atrocities that they did was not a simple drive or march (as it was from Germany to France or Poland) but involved going by plane or boat to another continent and killing, raping, mutilating many other people for no reason – the people that they did this to were not even involved in the war! Japan did these things because Japan was at war against the US, which did not involve the Philippines, Korea, or Indonesia, or even China. None of those countries were at war with Japan between 1941 and 1945.
There is a reason for this. Japan has always made it clear that they are SUPERIOR to all other people in the region and that superiority has always allowed them to commit any act on any people – after all, all others are “subhuman” (their word, taken from their documents).
If you are still not convinced (and you consider yourself an American) please take time to consider Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941. Japan flew thousands of miles to attack a country they were not, yet, at war with! The USA was not expecting an attack because were were not at war! We soon were, though.
I am glad that we went to war and that saved many European lives (of my people, the Jews, among others) but we went because Japan attacked us, not because we cared much about other people in countries far away from us.
Once conquered, The US forbid Japan from creating an Army and Japan used all that money that would have been used in the creation of an army to build the largest and most successful economy on earth!
There is something still unusual that I wrote: Japan was NOT ALLOWED to rebuild their army! Every other country we beat in WW2 was allowed to recreate an army but Japan was considered too dangerous to be allowed to create an army after the war. It was considered that their intent if they created an army would be to return to their evil intentions and continue to attack other countries and the USA put a stop to that.
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