NEWARK
Dr. Lane’s Thoughts XXV
1) We are going to cover a new way of going through life. This is the “Just Because Doesn’t Mean That” way of viewing the actions of others and their excuse as to why they are permitted to act like a complete ass.
We all deal with people like this, the ones that state sentences about why you are not in a position to reprimand them or be short-tempered with them because…they have been though some experience, typically years before. We should illustrate what it is that I am alluding to so that I can be clear and you are not lost as to what this essay is about.
You ever hear someone who tell a story about some topic that you are aware of but fits in a ‘life lesson’ that gives them permission for some outlandish behavior? Perhaps it can be a small one like, “I don’t like to be friends with pretty girls because there was this girl in high school and she was very pretty and she was mean to me” so this becomes their basis of choosing friends (and says a subtle insult about you and your appearance). Perhaps it is more pointed like “there was this black guy in school and I think he stole my bike so I always feel I have to extra careful around black people”, or “I was really poor growing up so I didn’t have the chance to go to college. Now I can never go to college because I am 30”.
Your new philosophy for these examples and a thousand more is these words, “Just Because Doesn’t Mean That”. You can apply it to all of these examples to learn an important lesson.
1) Just because a pretty girl in high school was mean to you doesn’t mean that everyone you meet who care about looking good is necessarily either the same as that girl or mean in any way.
2) Just because there was a single incident about your stuff and a possibility that your possession was taken by them (true or not) doesn’t mean you can pass judgement about a whole group.
3) Just because you missed an opportunity to go to college (which you blame on your parents who probably did the best that they could for you at the time) doesn’t mean that your life is finished and college could not be your reality.
Speaking as a doctor, every day I tell people that as long as they are on this side of the ground (which is to say, alive at this moment) they can turn their health around and become healthy. Lose 10 pounds, eat better foods (and make better choices like eat more fruit and cut out the salt) and you may even be able to come off your medicines! Weight-loss surgery can give you a new start in life and help you to make a new you! Anything is possible with your body and your health!
Just because you were a fat child or your parents fed you crap food doesn’t mean that your future is being fat and eating badly. Just because your spouse feeds you bad food or won’t eat better food doesn’t mean that you can’t start today to make better choices and demand that they do the same. Just because the food you eat has a basis in your culture doesn’t mean that you have to eat that food which may be full of salt, fat, pork and bacon, and calories.
[I know that bacon is popular and I know I do not eat it because it is against my religion but do you know the history of this food item? First of all, it is nothing but fat and salt. It was given to the poor people because rich people rejected that part of the pig due to how fat it was and salt was used to keep it from rotting. The salt puts a strain on your kidneys and the fat will cake your arteries. It is a cheap meat item and companies use it to flavor other bad food items, advertisers use it to improve the appeal of their products, and it is expected that you are too dumb to question why it is so ubiquitous in the marketed ‘American” diet which is neither American nor the diet of most people].
The stories in this world often center around people turning their lives around, forgiving the past, changing their mindsets, and forgiving the people of their past for bad behaviors and choices and starting a new and better day.
We forgive dogs and children for doing bad things but we seem to be unable to forgive ourselves and our pasts for their impact on our present lives. You can change everything about yourself. The internet can teach you how to do anything better and it is a place for free learning.
Just because you failed a subject in college doesn’t mean that you can’t learn the same subject with another teacher.
Just because you didn’t succeed at the gym doesn’t mean that another gym won’t be better for you.
Let’s use our new philosophy to another topic: friends and family. Just because you have known someone for 20 years doesn’t mean you have to spend time with them now if your lives have grown apart. Just because someone is your sister, brother, mother, or father doesn’t mean you have to tolerate their bigoted opinions, their violent outbursts, their boorish behavior, their tendency to steal from you and so on. If someone doesn’t make your life happier and brighter then drop them out of your world.
Honestly, fuck them if they think that you owe them anything just because you are related or you met them in 1st grade. People change; you change, and the world changes. Change with the world and change with your world.
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