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I sit here thinking about many things that impact on health and well-being. Health is an individual goal that each of us is required to travel alone. The people you bring along to help you are only there is assist; they cannot live your health for you. This means any doctor you choose to see is there to assist you but you must take and active role in your own health by asking questions and participating in your own recovery or rehabilitation.
I think I speak for many people when I say that it is important to understand your relationship with your parents, if you have parents, or only one parent, or parents who are not together for some reason, and if you have a relationship. Positive or negative, that relationship will teach us how to parent ourselves.
Just as much as it is important to take over your own health care as you become an adult, it is also important to take over other parenting roles in your own life as well.
Oh, you probably think I just suggested that your parents are the templates of how you will be as a parent. You are right, but only halfway.
You see, there is a more profound parenting that needs to be done: you must learn to parent yourself – you must continue, or finish the parenting you may still need when your parents are no longer there to do it either by distance or by death. You must be your own parent before you can really understand what it means to be the parent of someone else.
People who read this blog will see many references to my mother, Sylvia Lane. My mother became a widow at 42 with six children, including two newborns (that would be me and my twin, Larry). She was not perfect and I was not an ideal child. In fact, like all children I was demanding and thoughtless.
Today, I live my life as if my mother (who died January 11, 2009, 30 days after I finished medical school at the University of Bridgeport College of Chiropractic) was watching me. I know there are places where I can cut corners or be less than ethical (this is the same in any job, in any profession) but I know that she would disapprove. I live my life so I can sleep well at night knowing I am doing the right thing even when it is the harder road to walk.
At some point in all our lives, we must stop blaming others for what we failed to get, to learn, to do, to understand, and we must finish those tasks for ourselves and by ourselves. Nothing is sadder (or less interesting) than to listen to anyone over the age of 25 tell you how much their issues are their parents’ fault.
The fault lies in only one place: you. Sorry to be a pooper on your self-pity party but the people you are blaming are living their lives and now it is time to live yours. Maybe they have already lived their life and they are gone.
For the record, I will completely agree with you that the people you blame are completely at fault and they do owe you something.
There, feel better? Now get on with your life. Live it completely and live it with good health. Please, live it without blame.
via Blogger http://chiropractic-lane.blogspot.com/2013/07/health-its-time-to-parent-yourself.html
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