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Dr. Lane’s Thoughts LXXXI
1) I will probably be lambasted for what I will write but I can’t help but feel this way: if you have a list of mental and physical health problems that you feel comfortable announcing this to everyone in your circle of communication, what do you expect other people to do?
If you have autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, osteoporosis, low back pain, arm pain, time management issues, headaches, menstrual issues, allergies, developmental difficulties, relationship issues, depression and so on, what do you think this brings to the situation that is positive for the other person? How about telling me how this contributes to the workplace?
I get it, you need ‘special consideration’ and ‘more time’, extra time off, and less distractive working conditions, and a more comfortable desk and chair, no fluorescent lighting, a shorter work day, more comfort in ways I have not mentioned and so on. You feel that you have this ‘right’ to make these demands on your spouse, employer, friends, and strangers. This ‘right’ is based on your ‘medical’ or ‘psychological’ issue that (you think) merits consideration by your family, friends, and employers, not to mention the general public. I know that you think this is ok because you are very quick to raise this topic if given 3 minutes of someone else’s attention.
Good, we all heard you and your need to list your ‘requests’ / demands.
Why are you surprised when other people don’t want to hear about your problems, spend time with you, divorce you, reject you, find another vendor or employee, and can’t accommodate you? Did you really imagine that this would go another way? Even the world of public employment with the state or federal government and its impetus to accommodate every whim and fancy of its tenured employees has its limits for what it can do for you.
This is a big world with lots of other people; these are people who don’t present a list of “I can’t’ statements and, instead, show and tell how they ‘can’ do what is asked of them. Those are the ones who tend to be the people more likely to get the opportunities.
Too bad you can’t work for your mom and make her give you what you want. Too bad that your mom can’t be your ‘best friend’ or your ‘spouse’ and make your life as easy as your problems will allow you to be. Too bad that the rest of the world is the uncompressing ‘tough dad’ that you avoid or try to run away from.
I’m sure that you can join a ‘pity party’ with your friends and they will ‘be there for you’ until it is their turn when you will be usurped from your position and have to be nice to someone else for a change.
Oh. You didn’t plan for that, did you? I’ll just let you get back to ‘you being you.’
2) The people out in the world who want you to know that they are vegan or locavore or some variation of ‘new healthy’ but can’t shut up about it – please, STFU! You and your ‘healthy approach to life’ or whatever you call it have become the only conversation you will allow and I think I speak for everyone when I say: there are other more interesting topics than you.
I don’t think anyone has a problem with your life choices but can you do it quietly?
3) When our cells don’t have enough C15:0 (pentadecanoic acid), they become fragile and age faster. C15:0 isn’t just another wellness trend. It could be the nutritional missing link in your longevity toolkit that may help your cells resist aging, inflammation, and burnout.
It is found in whole-fate dairy products such as full-fat milk, butter, cheese, and cream. It can be found in lesser amounts in certain meats (lamb, beef, and seal meat), some fish (especially fatty fish and their skin).
It can also be produced in the body from propionic acid via gut microbiome and liver.
4) Use peeling an orange as a relaxing part of your day, as a stress relief. The scent of citrus is naturally calming, and the hands-on task keeps you focused on something simple.
Take your time — breathe in the scent, feel the texture, and let it slow you down.
Then eat it – an orange is a gift from nature and very healthy!
4) Your trauma may not be your fault but it is your responsibility. Whatever you consider to be the reason for your non-stellar performance in life and relationships, the crutch that you lean on to explain your failings and why life has been cruel to you you are the only one who can do anything about it. No one else has the responsibility to life you nor, in most cases, the inclination to care.
Your parents? They did their job by putting you here and, if you are over 18, the legal responsibility to take guide, direct, and help you.
God? This is one relationship you get out of it what you put in. You help yourself and God will take the credit.
The government? Get rich and the government will be there to help and assist you. Other than that you are owed nothing.
Siblings? Dysfunctional is the root of sibling relationships. Like the other ideas I have espoused they will be there for you only if you become very successful and stop relying on them.
A thought to ponder about success (and by that I mean making money) – the easier the training to get a job the less likely it will pay well or contain skills that you can use for your whole career or transfer to another career.
High school diploma? Not a good place to stop since you are replaceable by thousands of new graduates each year.
Medicine? The more training you have the more invaluable you become to a workplace.
Law? It is the career that too many people decide on when they realize that the degree that they have earned has no value in the workplace. It typically involves making changes to your ethical and moral standards and your tolerance of evil.
Engineering? You had better enjoy the world of dry topics mixed with math and physics.
Finance? It is all about the money and how much you bring in. If you don’t produce you are dropped and suddenly you learn many ways to rephrase your failure to perform as laudatory.
Influencer, model, actor, musical performer (etc.)? You are good enough until someone more attractive, younger, or with lower standards comes along. Your career may very well end almost as it begins.
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