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Harvard University has been in an escalating battle with the Dump administration heightened last week by a letter it received from the administration that outlined many demands tied to federal funding – like reforming its curriculum and admissions programs, discontinuing DEI practices and additional policy demands.
The letter was used to withhold $2.2B in grants to Harvard. Harvard rejected the demands immediately stating “Harvard will not negotiate with terrorists.”
Further, the New York Times reported the White House added, citing two unnamed people familiar with the matter that the letter was ‘true’ but “was not supposed to be sent” despite being signed by 3 administration officials, sent on official White House stationary, and signed by President Dump.
The White House has responded to the NYT report on the issue by stating, “The letter should not have been sent and was “unauthorized” despite the subsequent withholding of funding because the letter was rejected by Harvard.
Harvard, which has emerged as a symbol of the Trump resistance, strongly rejected the demands in the April 11 letter, with President Alan M. Garber saying in a statement that the “University will not surrender its independence or relinquish its constitutional rights.”
President Dump made it clear that despite the appearance of the letter with the list of demands having originated from inside the White House, the letter had been created and sent by one of the children of Stink Felon, the advisor to the President who runs the organization DUD (Department of Undermining Democracy).
“I don’t know which one”, stated Mr. Felon. Mr. Felon has 310 children from 41 different women, including six from what has been widely reported as his first wife.
“I use that term loosely”, answered Mr. Felon when asked about Fustine (who’s birth name was Justine but changed after her marriage to Mr. Felon upon his insistence). Mr. Felon did not elaborate as to whether he was answering the question concerning whether Mustine had been his wife or whether the six children were his biological children.
“I think it was my son, Fart. He was at the White House”, surmised Mr. Felon. Fart, 2 years old, had been at the White House on February 11. The letter was sent on April 11. [When asked why he had named his son “Fart” Mr. Felon responded “I’m rich! We name our kids anything we want. It isn’t like he will live a normal life anyway.”]
“That kid is a rascal”, stated Mr. Felon.
The White House elaborated on the issue of the letter to Harvard, stating that they expected Harvard to “beg and plead” for the grants to be reinstated.
“We expect all the schools that President Dump has sent similar letter with similar demands to grovel and beg for the money”, added spokesperson Kayleigh Michelle McEnany, “This is president Dump’s money!”.
When this assertion was questioned by the NYT reporter, Ms. McEnany had the reporter escorted from the Press Room. As of the time of the writing of this report the NYT continues to be banned from the White House Press Room.
“He made her cry”, said President Dump
“This is the fault of the lawyers at Harvard who do not understand the President Dump is a master negotiator, author of the “Art of the Steal”, chief of all that he surveys, King of the Realm formerly known as “The United States”, and Potentate of all the people and animals in his dominion”, stated one of President’s Dump’s sons, who requested to remain anonymous.
President Dump added that Mr. Felon is his best friend. “He donated 200 million dollars to my reelection. Anyone who thinks like that is my best friend, not like my bitch Daughter, Iwaana, or my asshole sons, whatever their names are, who didn’t donate a nickel to me from all the money and free rent I give them.”
Harvard responded on April 13 with a letter signed by all the staff, students, and faculty which read, in part, “President Bitch, Harvard doesn’t need your grant money! We’re Harvard, we have 200 billion in endowments. We don’t even charge tuition to attend!”
“What a nasty man”, Mr. Dump sighed when the letter was read to him. [President Dump has stated that he does not read any correspondence and must have them read to him by his staff, “I’m too busy and important to read anything”, he has made clear in the past.
Later, Harvard President, Alan Garber, apologized for sending the letter.
“We admit to sending the letter in haste. 41 faculty members and 63 student were not able to sign the letter before we mailed it. For this we apologize”.
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