RRRFFFKKK, Jr. Declares Vaccine Against Autism Discovered (Parody of RFK, Jr.)

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RRRFFFKKK, Jr. Declares Vaccine Against Autism Discovered (Parody of RFK, Jr.)

RRRFFFKKK, Jr. (the son of the late RRRFFFKKK) and now the head of Health and Human Services (HHS) has declared that Autism has been cured and now can be prevented by the use of a vaccine, which he has famously declared, originally, as the cause of the same condition.

“It’s the darndest thing”, RRRFFFKKK, Jr. stated, “We had the cure all along on a shelf at the NIH, mislabeled.  We believe that this will resolve the issue forever.

It was noted by leading researchers in the field of Autism research that autism has many factors related to genetics and environment, the interplay of both, as well has, often, many neurological and physical manifestations.

The vaccine, unheard of before this report, will need to be tested and research must follow strict guidelines.

Typically, vaccines are created as follows:

In phase I clinical trials, typically dozens of participants are recruited. In this phase, the vaccine dose level and safety are tested. It takes at least 1 year for a phase I clinical trial to be complete. 

In phase II clinical trials, hundreds of participants are recruited. In this phase, the immunogenicity and safety of the vaccine are tested. It is important to ensure that the candidate vaccine stimulates both humoral and cellular antibody responses against the target antigen. 

In phase III clinical trials, thousands of participants are recruited. In this phase, the safety and efficacy of the vaccine are tested. The virus must be circulating during the trial to determine if the vaccine is effective to protect against the virus or disease. Phase III trials take a few years to complete.

After collecting data, regulatory bodies assess vaccine safety and effectiveness before the vaccine is licensed. The whole process of vaccine development to licensure takes around 10 years.


Mr. RRRFFFKKK, Jr. responded with this information by stating, “No time for this.  We are just going to vaccinate every weird-acting kid we encounter.  What’s the worst that can happen?  Either they get better or we put them on farms for meat.”

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